Himself

Once it was the blessing, Now it is the Lord;
Once it was the feeling, Now it is His Word.
Once His gifts I wanted, Now the Giver own;
Once I sought for healing, Now Himself alone.

Once 'twas painful trying, Now 'tis perfect trust;
Once a half salvation, Now the uttermost.
Once 'twas ceaseless holding, Now He holds me fast;
Once 'twas constant drifting, Now my anchor's cast.

Once 'twas busy planning, Now 'tis trustful prayer;
Once 'twas anxious caring, Now He has the care.
Once 'twas what I wanted, Now what Jesus says;
Once 'twas constant asking, Now 'tis ceaseless praise.

Once it was my working, His it hence shall be;
Once I tried to use Him, Now He uses me.
Once the power I wanted, Now the Mighty One;
Once for self I labored, Now for Him alone.

Once I hoped in Jesus, Now I know He's mine;
Once my lamps were dying, Now they brightly shine.
Once for death I waited, Now His coming hail;
And my hopes are anchored, Safe within the vail.

A. B. Simpson (1843-1915)

I am wrestling with this one.

The following quote is not from the video, but I remember hearing this quote from Moody when Francis spoke at Founder's Week 2012 about the same topic:

"I learned under KP Johannan in India. He has led over 2 million people to the Lord. They plant 13 churches per day. The thing I got from him, was that he loves me. He said to me, “Francis, I pray for you everyday. In fact I pray for you 3 times per day.” Now that is humbling. Why do you find time to pray for me? “I believe God wants to do something through you, if you are willing to be lonely. Are you willing to be lonely? The moment you start caring about what everyone else thinks that is the moment you will have nothing else to say that is worth listening to. Don’t look at me, because right now I’m popular and it is easy to follow someone who is popular. There will come a time when people will not put up with what we are talking about.”

I can't emptily wait for Him to come.

desperately running to Jesus has already confirmed that He has already arrived.

Everything in my life has to be planned around my time with Christ, not the other way around.

I'm probably the most insecure person in the world. The more idols that are exposed for what they are (suffocating death), I'm left with nothing. I'm left more than half dead in a desert scrambling for life. Absolutely dry, hedged in by the Lord, until I'm restlessly suffocating and screaming for air. Headaches, pain, sorrow, haunting and the taunting of the enemy until I hit the excruciating pain of not wanting to live anymore... And then out touches my heart, the blood of Christ. Oh Job, oh Gomer.. and many more. The cry of our human heart reveals more of the depths of death we have and the deeper depths of His reaching Hand upon it.

you reach for me, i tried to avoid you
fear grips my heart, it's a deep paranoia that i'll be alone if i reach back to you
too busy protecting, can't see i'm rejecting you
for self preservation steals the joys of sweet adoration
self preservation steals the joys of sweet adoration

for i was made for love's embrace, to hear words that are spoken with grace, with a hand in mine, together to face the trials of life
you say you'd never leave me, so i'll be found believing you

you say my name, and i can't ignore you
you presence comes in and my heart just adores you
if i could let go that i'm not good enough
can't see what i'm missing when shame blurs my vision of you

Jesus i know, self preservation steals the joys of sweet adoration
for self preservation steals the joys of sweet adoration

i was made for love's embrace, to hear words that are spoken with grace, with a hand in mine, together to face the trials of life
you say you'd never leave me, so i'll be found believing you

for self preservation steals the joys of sweet adoration
there is an answer for loneliness
self preservation steals the joys of sweet adoration
there is an answer for loneliness
there is an answer

he said when we love him, when we obey his commands, that he would make his home with us...

To Hell with the Devil and His Destructive Lies
John Piper:

But the hard truth is that most Christians don’t pray very much. They pray at meals—unless they’re still stuck in the adolescent stage of calling good habits legalism. They whisper prayers before tough meetings. They say something brief as they crawl into bed. But very few set aside set times to pray alone—and fewer still think it is worth it to meet with others to pray. And we wonder why our faith is weak. And our hope is feeble. And our passion for Christ is small.

The Duty of Prayer
And meanwhile the devil is whispering all over this room: “The pastor is getting legalistic now. He’s starting to use guilt now. He’s getting out the law now.” To which I say, “To hell with the devil and all of his destructive lies. Be free!” Is it true that intentional, regular, disciplined, earnest, Christ-dependent, God-glorifying, joyful prayer is a duty? Do I go to pray with many of you on Tuesday at 6:30 a.m., and Wednesday at 5:45 p.m., and Friday at 6:30 a.m., and Saturday at 4:45 p.m., and Sunday at 8:15 a.m. out of duty? Is it a discipline?

You can call it that. It’s a duty the way it’s the duty of a scuba diver to put on his air tank before he goes underwater. It’s a duty the way pilots listen to air traffic controllers. It’s a duty the way soldiers in combat clean their rifles and load their guns. It’s a duty the way hungry people eat food. It’s a duty the way thirsty people drink water. It’s a duty the way a deaf man puts in his hearing aid. It’s a duty the way a diabetic takes his insulin. It’s a duty the way Pooh Bear looks for honey. It’s a duty the way pirates look for gold.

Means of Grace: Gift of God
I hate the devil, and the way he is killing some of you by persuading you it is legalistic to be as regular in your prayers as you are in your eating and sleeping and Internet use. Do you not see what a sucker he his making out of you? He is laughing up his sleeve at how easy it is to deceive Christians about the importance of prayer.

God has given us means of grace. If we do not use them to their fullest advantage, our complaints against him will not stick. If we don’t eat, we starve. If we don’t drink, we get dehydrated. If we don’t exercise a muscle, it atrophies. If we don’t breathe, we suffocate. And just as there are physical means of life, there are spiritual means of grace.

"Faith is seeing, savoring, the supreme treasure of Christ."